It's one of those nights, where I can't seem to fall asleep, though I am tired.
The
rumbling snores of others, combined with my racing thoughts, drive me
far from sleep. It always seems to happen when I have somewhere I have
to be, somewhat early in the morning.
My mind thinks
about all I want, and want to do, and how I can. Mostly, it wonders what I
should do, in order to make things more financially sound. But all
those thoughts are just vanity. Nothing ever really comes from them,
except dark circles under my eyes and dragging feet in the morning, due
to a lack of rest.
Normally, I just lay in bed, tossing and turning, hoping I will just pass out from pure exhaustion. Tonight, that still small voice spoke to my heart to get up and be productive. Productive? With what? How? This is how. To let my thoughts be useful instead of empty.
I all too often let myself sit silently, refusing to speak my thoughts. Especially the deeper and more controversial ones. Thus, one reason, I don't post much on my blog or my facebook page. Are people really interested in what I have to say? Why add to the noise that blares across the internet already? Am I ready to let go, when people walk out of my life, because of how offensive I am?
Then again, what if my voice is the one that will speak to someone in a way they desperately need? Instead of wasting away hours, tearing my bed apart, with frustration, over the sleep that evades me, I hope to begin to use these quiet, sleepless hours, that I'm actually "alone", to write. The whole reason I started blogging in the first place is because I love to write, in spite of my poor mechanical and grammatical skills, and I wanted to inspire and lift up anyone who might possibly read what I've shared.
So here is to our sleeplessness and to the quietness in the dark hours of the night. May my writing do what it is purposed to and may your heart find peace enough to sleep, and mine too.
