Starbuck Christianity

I could honestly care less about Starbucks, or what their cups look like or don't look like. I don't actually go there, as I don't drink coffee and never bothered to see what else they have.

The ONLY reason, I know anything about the cup complaints, is because of people on Facebook getting all up in arms, over the people who are up in arms over the cups and their "anti-Christian" design. I find it funny.

Funny that people are freaked out over what a cup looks like. Then again, for years I've heard "Let's keep Christ in Christmas, by saying "Merry Christmas"" and similar sentiments. Though, I personally am not offended by Merry Christmas, and often say it myself, I am also not offended by the fact that other people celebrate other holidays. This is, probably, because I didn't always celebrate Christmas. In fact, hearing "Happy Hanukkah", usually came from someone at synagogue or my family. Yet, as much of a "Grinch" as my father may be, I've never heard him have a tantrum over the fact that other people were disregarding his faith and the fact that it isn't the same as theirs.The truth is, if we think saying "Happy holidays!" or choosing to not put up a Christmas tree, lights, decorations (such as reindeer and Santa) are anti-Christian, we've forgotten how Christ fits into the term "Christmas".

At the same time, I find humor in all the people reacting to the minority that is unable to handle the change in cup decor. For one, if people weren't going on about how ridiculous and shameful it is to be upset about a cup, I wouldn't even know there were people who had a problem with it. Which really, aren't there more important things to be upset about and spreading the word about? Which I guess would be for a second thing. How is complaining about something petty that someone else thinks or feels not petty in and of itself? The comments I've read don't seem to come from a place of love, compassion, and other Christ like characteristics, but instead from the same anger and disgust as those they are commenting about are coming from. Just a different package.

To be fair, I am just as guilty as everyone else, for going on about petty things. But what if we took a moment to realize how ridiculous it all is and just stopped. Stopped talking about it. Stopped trying to convince others of their brokenness. Stopped making such a big deal out of something that isn't truly important. Instead, replacing that with love, compassion, understanding, prayerfulness, and other Christ like characteristics.

That is how we can truly keep Christ, not only in Christmas, but in us everyday.

What's in a Name?

Currently, in my bible study group, we are utilizing the book "Experiencing God". As I read the first chapter I was reminded of why I have always taken time to know the meanings of the names I might give my children.

There have been names I've liked and chosen not to use, because when we say someone's name we are speaking the meaning of that name over that person. I want what I speak over my children to be a blessing and not a curse.

In chapter one, the author explains that for the early Jews a name was given to describe the character, quality, or something of a person. For example, Isaac means "Laughter" because his parents laughed when God promised him to them.

This is why God has so many names. God is so many things to us. He has so many characteristics. When we speak His name with a heart of worship, we bless Him.

As I finished reading the 1st chapter today, and went over the questions at the end, I was encouraged to think about the names of God that I have personally experienced and which one was most prominent in my life, right now.

My answer: "Lover of my soul". No matter how I feel, when I've cried out to God, especially lately, He has reminded me of how deeply He loves me. Not because I doubt His love, but because sometimes I get so worried about the love of others, that I forget that I have the most important love of all... His.

Tonight, I am thankful for His love. I am thankful that He is the "Lover of my soul" and that, no matter what, the heart He has for me is always full. Nothing can change that. Because He doesn't change.

I pray tonight, that each of you will experience His mighty love in such a way that it fills you and draws you closer to Him than you have ever been.

No Good, Very Bad Day

Or so it tried to be. Thankfully, we have a God who gives us refuge and strength.

This morning, I awoke, stubbornly, to the urgent call of the Holy spirit. "Wake up and look at your clock!" When I finally did, I saw that it read 6:37. Turning, to go back to sleep, thinking, "No biggie. I've got time.", it struck me. No I don't! My alarm wasn't turned on and I was waking up over 10 minutes late. I jumped out of bed, with one thought on my mind. "Must get girls up and to the bus on time!"

Success. We made it out to the bus stop with a couple minutes to spare and take a moment to give God our joint attention. I drove back to the house, thanking God for intervening.

Unfortunately, I arrived to discover my husband's alarm hadn't gone off either, and I didn't wake him, due to my one track thinking. He was up and rushing to get out the door. Again I prayed, this time for his peace and comfort, as well as for his day to be much better than it started.

The rest of my morning, I was dragging. I don't drink coffee, but on days like this, I wonder if I should start.

Lesson time with the boys was frustrating. It seemed they were just as off kilter as I was. Again, I prayed, God help me to handle this well and for us to get through this. He answered and we did.

As we nearly finished up, my husband called to let me know, I'd forgotten to take the boys to the dentist. I called them up to apologize and was informed I now owed them $50. I felt awful. I'm not one who misses appointments and couldn't believe I'd forgotten. I cried. Sadly, I did. I cried out and asked God to help me through this day. I felt overwhelmed and unmotivated.

After that, I decided to put a combination of Young Living Joy and Peppermint essential oils into my diffuser. The combination is supposed to be uplifting. It was. Not only did I notice a change in my self, but also a peace and calm seemed to have taken over my sons.

Between the oils and God, my day began to turn around. Though, I haven't stopped feeling off kilter and have had my share of unpleasant moments, I have found motivation, peace, and joy. I've done more today, than I would've believed I could, and I'm ending this day feeling good about it, in spite of the valleys strewn through it.

Called to Serve

It seems almost every day I get a phone call. Different organization, same script. All asking for my support as they hope that I will pick them out of the multitude.

We see blips here and there of different ways we can contribute to the world around us. From commercials to facebook posts. Yet, our eyes glaze over, and we keep on scrolling or flipping channels.

It isn't that we don't want to help. It isn't that we don't care. It is that we are so overwhelmed by all the need, how little we think our resources are, and, especially, what is going on in our own little worlds.

It's easy to feel disconnected from things going on in the world, even in our own backyards. To miss that not everyone lives like we do or has what we have.

I saw this yesterday at my son's practice. Kids picking on other kids for being "weird, different, etc" Deciding not to like a kid because he isn't as good at whatever sport as they are. That was actually the big thing. Some of the kids had played the sport in seasons past, but one kid had not. He was behind the curve, yet the other children didn't seem to understand that, because that was not where they were.

I think, in a way, that is true for us as adults. Often we don't seem to realize that just because we're used to something, just because that's how we've always done or known or whatever, that everyone must be used to that, everyone must do, know, etc... just like us. We forget that the world is bigger than ours and that there is so much more going on than we experience ourselves.

I can't give to and support every organization I want to. Admittedly, I sometimes feel guilty about this. This morning, though, I know that I could still be doing more than I am. Whether it is giving of things, time, money, or even just a "Hello" to a weary stranger or a hug for a friend who acts like she has it all together, but is really on the brink of collapse.

Today, I hope to be a blessing to the world around me and to step outside of my own private planet, into the great beyond. A place where I can truly change the world, one choice at a time, for the glory and honor of God, within and outside of my personal life.

For, as I tried to tell my daughters this morning, when we were discussing this topic, "We have a purpose in this life, but it isn't about us."

May we each find a way to serve someone else today.

Why do we go to Church?

Today, I was asked if I could help someone with a small dilemma. Their kids were away for the weekend, visiting Grandma, and would be attending church elsewhere. It was just this woman and her husband, something that doesn't seem to happen often. Should they go to church or not? 

It may seem to some like an odd question. Why wouldn't they go to church? To others it may seem an obvious, "If you have to ask, then you probably shouldn't." For others, well, you can relate. Through out my life, I could've given any of these responses. Today, however, my heart immediately turned to God and asked, "How should I respond?"

Whether it was Him who answered, or something else, a response came instantly.

"Are you going to church because you want to or because of what others will think if you don't?"


I followed this with a suggestion. "I believe you should spend time growing, together, in the Lord, today. Whether you do it at church, at home, at a picnic, or somewhere else. Let his be a day of growing, together.

My first point:

We have this mentality of all or nothing. We're either all in  and fully dedicated, serving in every way possible, (which isn't really a bad thing) or we're not in at all. The truth is, there is a happy medium. After all, going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than not going keeps you from being one. Though, I do believe, (and this is biblical), that it is good to gather together with other believers for the purpose of growth and worship.

Maybe that is in a Sunday service, or even a Wednesday, or possibly a Tuesday or Thursday... Get it? The day doesn't matter. Jesus had church any day and anywhere. So why do we go? Do we go to church because we are led to, by the Holy Spirit, or because we are afraid of being condemned by those who are all in, for not being?

I go to my church, not because I have to or because I'm afraid. I go because I believe that God moves in the heart of my preacher man. That the Holy Spirit inhabits our time of praise and worship, together. I go because I like the people and being able to be a blessing to others. I know I don't have to go and truth is, I don't always. Though, rarely because I don't want to. Usually when I don't want to, that is when my spirit needs it most.

But church isn't just in the building I go to on Sunday mornings. It is in my van, with my daughters, in the mornings as we wait for the bus. It is in my kitchen, with my sons, as we learn and grow together. It is during my mom's night out, with my friends. It is every time I gather together with another believer and share my faith, listen to them share theirs, and as we sharpen each other as iron sharpens iron.

I don't go to church, simply to have the word given to me. I take of it on my own, every day. I try to apply it to my life and try to learn and grow. I go to church, because I want to grow alongside others. To be there for them and allow them to be there for me.

My second point:

I can't emphasize how important it is for a couple to spend time growing and learning together. Whether it is in the Lord, in their other interests and hobbies, or as people, couples should be joining together to thrive, instead of just surviving.

The couples I, personally, know, who seem to enjoy their lives the most are those who do just that. They share growth, learning, ups and downs, forgiveness and grace, joys and sorrows, interests and hobbies, and so much more. They have made what is important to the other important to them, even if simply because it is important to the other person. They lift each other up and encourage each other, striving to find the good and accept the bad, (even if they don't always want to.)

Take time, today, with your partner to grow, learn, and love each other more. Church can be had, even if it is just the two of you. After all, a marriage is suppose to be an earthly visual of our relationship with God. We need to take care of it, every way we can and what is better than bringing God into the center of that effort?

Parent/Teacher

     It's funny, sometimes, how things come to our attention and change.

     Today, as I taught a class of pre-schoolers, I was faced with the challenge of how to handle a strong-willed child. A child who was not my own. To show her that, though I respected that she had feelings, rules were rules and she still had to follow them. That it was ok for her to not like it. I also had the opportunity of teaching her a lesson on consequences, refusing to budge on my decision, regardless of how hard she tried to get me to. Basically, showing her that I was indeed a solid wall, a stone that would not be moved.

     It wasn't easy, in fact, I did feel a bit bad when she started to cry. My saving grace was the growth I've seen in this child every time I work with her, because I refuse to be moved. Each time she listens better and better, fights less and less, and respects more and more. I don't tear her down, or try to break her. I simply stand my ground, with respect towards her and who she is.

     As I worked with her today, I realized something disappointing. If she had been one of my children, I would've waved my white flag, out of exhaustion and frustration. I know this, because I've been guilty of it so many times. As I told her to sit in her chair the way she should, I didn't settle for her laying across it. Had she been one of my kids, I would've thought, "Well at least she is on the chair, I'm done with this battle. I have too many other things to deal with." 

    Time and time again, my children have gotten surrender from me and now, I am dealing with the consequences of that. Lately, I have been standing my ground, more and more. It hasn't been easy. The easy thing is what I've almost always done. Giving up too soon. Instead I've been trying to look ahead to the possibilities for things to change, if I will just do something different than I've always done. To be strong, bold, and confident.

      As disappointing as this is to realize, it also gives me faith, hope, and the strength to continue to persevere. To stand my ground and let my kids "hate me." for now. Believing, someday, they may grow to benefit from my willingness to change.

Joy Comes in the Morning

      Fighting, bickering, anger, etc... have filled my home a lot this summer. All the normal complaints moms seem to have. My kids don't listen. They don't respect me. I give them chores and end up either yelling at them and threatening to take away their privileges or give up and do it myself. I'm angry. I'm hurt. I just want to have fun with them and have positive memories, but it seems like all we do is go through this vicious cycle of butting heads until I just about break. I take away their privileges and sometimes it works, other times, they just complain about how wrong it is and how I have no right.

       On a couple of occasions, I've had the courage to wave my white flag in front of another mom and cry out, "I surrender!" Thankfully these were women with wisdom and hearts of prayer. No, things aren't perfect, nor have they changed much. However, I know that God is working in this situation, both in my children, and in me. Just as He has been doing in my marriage.


       The other day, I reached a low point. My anger, like a volcano, exploded and I saw myself as a beast returning from my own past. My heart broke and on my bed I wept bitterly, crying out to the Lord. In times past, I've asked God why He would curse my children with a mother like me. Children are a blessing, a gift from the Lord. I'm the problem. Why me? Why did He trust me with them? At the beginning of summer, I was told never to say that again. Sometimes, it still hits me and as I laid on my bed that night I asked Him again, "Why am I their mother? This isn't the mother I wanted to be, or the way I wanted my children to live. What do you see in me?"

     As I prayed, sleep took me, peacefully, into its embrace. There, I rested in the Lord and for the first time, in a while, I awoke early (for me) feeling refreshed. I watched as the sky changed from dawn to morning, with the word of God. The fog streamed across the pasture. The autumn light casting rays upon the woods. I breathed deep the glory that fall brings to my heart. I know it isn't fall, yet. Still, I felt as though God made that day for me. It maintained the autumn beauty all day. Peace, love, and joy filled my heart. I found pleasure, even in the most mundane. I was, for a day, more the mother I hope to be, than the one I fight so hard to overcome.

    The days since haven't always been as refreshing as that one, though I have found a renewed sense of strength and faith. My attitude has been adjusted and my behavior impacted. I can not change others, but I can be changed.

August 2, 2015

        On this beautiful, sunny, summer day I am thankful for the abundance our farm experiences. Imagine if I put more focus on it! Maybe you can't, but I do realize that I need to. I was told earlier this year that someone once said, (ok I'm sure it was more than once), to figure out your top 3 priorities and put 90% of your focus on those three things. EVERYthing else gets to divide up the last 10%. My problem is, I often lose sight of my priorities and let others influence my focus. Mainly because I haven't always defined, for myself, what exactly my priorities are. It's like setting a goal. In order to succeed at your goal, it must be defined. If it is vague, how do you know when you have actually achieved it or just settled for less? So I am prayerfully defining my priorities.

        My first priority is my personal relationship with God. It's easy to confuse what that actually means and often times, I do. However, when I get deep into prayer, I know, that it means my time in His presence. It means being focused in the word, prayer, praise, and worship. It means putting on the full armor of God everyday and letting His love pour through me onto those around me. It isn't about where, when, or with whom I go to church, or how involved or uninvolved I may be in different ministries, or what I can do or be for others. It is about *MY* personal relationship with God. Just like I have a personal relationship with my husband. Which leads me to my second priority.

       My relationship with my family. By that, I mean with my husband and my children, though my relationships with other family members are important as well, these are the people I have the most impact on. The question is, am I lifting them up with love, or tearing them down with a worldly attitude. What does the bible say about being a wife and a mother? Am I striving to do *MY* best, to apply those truths in my family? Am I taking on the responsibility of doing what is right vs. doing what is expected and/or easy? Am I willing to go against society to raise my kids in a biblical manner or am I just throwing in the towel and saying it is too hard? What about my husband? Am I giving him the attention that belongs to him, or am I distracted by less important things? Am I allowing the influence of others expectations of my time take away from my priorities, because I forget that it is GOOD and OK to let something be less important than another thing even if other people don't agree. I suppose it's obvious and I must confess, I'm a people pleaser.

    Which oddly leads to my third priority. My home and my farm. Yes, I am a homemaker, who homeschools, and am home a lot, but that doesn't mean I always give my home and farm the care and attention I should. For one, I'm busy teaching the kids and sometimes I need down time/me time. Also, I often allow myself to be distracted by taking on responsibilities and obligations that I really don't have time for. I know there is time if you will make time for something, but that time is often taking away from my priorities. It is our responsibility to be good stewards of what God has blessed us with, but I haven't been.   Though my garden has brought forth some things, and hopefully will continue to, if I had given more focus to it, I'd have a much better harvest. So far, I have gathered some garlic (which wasn't as ready as it could've been), cucumbers (which I've been able to pickle), lettuce (which has now bolted), a couple radishes (because that is all I got around to planting) and some green beans (though they aren't flourishing the way they did last year.). Our tomatoes and popcorn look promising. The watermelons are lost in the weeds, but were finally starting to produce fruit a few weeks ago. Some of the pumpkin plants have fruit also. My collards are finally looking productive. And my herbs don't look like they'll make it. And it is my own fault, mostly. Thankfully, God is our provider. This year we were able to can 19 jars of mulberry jam. I know if, I'd been better about getting out and harvesting we would've had more. Blessings 4&5 LOVE mulberry jam. I was also able to gather a few handfuls of black raspberries and blackberries before the animals ate them all. Our wild asparagus provided at least 5, probably more, side dishes for us. I've found that not only do we have wild carrot growing but also wild parsnip, which if I will be diligent this fall I can harvest for stews and soups this winter. The wild grapes also look like we might be able to make some jelly, if we will be faithful in harvesting them. We've found some wild bergamot on the land as well and my husband intends to try his hand at making tea with some. We have more beneficial things on this land as well, if we will give our focus to it. And that is just the land. There is also the home. Making this home a warm, welcoming, safe place for our family and our guests. Though home is equivalent to family, I am also referring to the building in which this family resides. I have plans and ideas, etc. It is just making these things happen, to make this home more efficient, functional, and more enjoyable.

EVERYthing else, belongs on the back burner compared to these three, most important, for *ME*, priorities. I know not everyone agrees with me and that it displeases people when I tell them no, or I can't, or I just don't make time for whatever they want me to. Sadly, it is very difficult for me to do that. To say no. To allow myself to trust in myself. To trust what God has spoken into my heart. It is long overdue, though. So baby step, by baby step, I'm striving to turn my focus onto the things that God has placed in my heart as my purposes. To allow myself to become narrow focused, making my priorities 90% of it and allowing everything else to fall into the 10%. After all, HE is the ONE I need to please above all others.

The Power of Lent

No, I don't think Lent, in and of itself has any power whatsoever. The idea behind why I choose to participate in it does, however.

I've never gone to a church where Lent was of any particular importance, and probably, some, where it would honestly be frowned upon and discouraged. But, my husband and children have grown interested in "celebrating" this season and I have agreed to join the journey.

I find that Lent isn't just for certain types of Christians, but it is an opportunity, just as Christmas is, to remember why we are Christians and to focus on how we can be better ones. It is a time to look at our lives and not just remember that Jesus fasted so let us try to fast also. (Yes I understand there is more to Lent, for many, than that.) For me, it is a time to evaluate my relationship with God. Really any time is, but remember, we celebrate Christmas to remember Jesus' birth and life. We should do that all the time too.

This year I have prayed, "God, what is getting in the way of our relationship?" The thing about God is, if you ask, He'll tell you. And what He spoke to my heart was that I needed to turn off my cell phone while at home.

For the past few months, this idea has lingered in my heart. I had already stopped using it, for the most part, before bed. I was still using it more than I should've during the day.

Since the beginning of Lent, I've chosen to follow God's lead and keep my cell phone off while at home. I've already noticed ways in which it has been a huge blessing and eye opener for me.

For one, I realized that I don't get a lot of calls or texts. I also don't like to use my cell phone when I call people anyway. So keeping it off, at home, really isn't that big of a deal for me.

Another thing I've found is that I have not been using facebook much and no longer feel like I need to have it. I haven't missed much on there. In fact, on average, I only have 3 notifications, if any, each day and I'm lucky if any of them are actually things I'm interested in. I have no desire to scroll through all I've "missed" because most of my feed is made up of hateful extremism with sprinkles of things I actually care about. Though, I could just delete the "friends" who don't post anything that I find worth while, I'd rather just delete facebook and stay in touch through other means, with the people who actually want to stay in touch with me and not just have me on their friends list because we happen to know each other or they just like having more friends regardless of their actual relationship with those "friends."

I've also noticed how little eye contact is made in my home. One of the first things mothers are encouraged to do is make eye contact with their babies. It helps build bonding and strengthens relationships. So, why is there so little eye contact in my home? No wonder there is dysfunction, if we aren't even making the effort to look each other in the eye when communicating! With that knowledge in hand, I've been making a conscious effort to increase the amount of eye contact I have with my children, as well as my husband, to re-build those bonds and relationships. It is proving more difficult than I would've thought, but I'm thankful it has been brought to my attention, so I can do something about it.

On top of these things, we've begun studying "gods at war" at our church. I must say, God is good. This has come at a time when I not only needed it, but am open and ready for it. Idols have been on my mind, a lot, for a while now. I'm not just talking about statues, gods of other faiths and such. An idol is anything that you give place to, above God, in your heart. Anything can be an idol. I knew there were a few lingering in my heart and even pegged some, such as facebook. After all, I used it as soon as I woke up and dedicated time to it throughout the day, all day! What I hadn't thought much about were all the other idols lurking about my heart.

God is answering my prayer. "Show me how to overcome the things that are between us, Lord." And I know He loves me. I know He has called me by name. The evidence is ever present. He wants a relationship with me, more than I could imagine, and it thrills Him, that I want to pursue that relationship and strengthen my end of it.

The truth is, He loves each of us in this powerful way. As a husband desires the attention of his wife, a father desires time with his children, so God desires a personal relationship with each of us. And though that may seem impossible, the truth is, NOTHING is impossible with God.

So I ask you. What is in the way of your relationship with God? What has come between you and Him? What idols have taken over your heart?

I highly recommend checking out the "gods at war" book, bible study dvd, and companion journal. Whether you do it on your own, or with a group of friends or church family.

One Reason I Go to Church

Before I get into it, I will give a little background.

I've been on both sides of the fence thinking that church was an absolute, when I was in my teens, and thinking it wasn't needed during half my twenties. Now, I fall somewhere in between. No we don't HAVE to go to an ordained church, if you will. Though, we should gather together in worship and prayer, as there is power in numbers. Fellowship is so needed for our souls. Otherwise, why would anyone talk to anyone else? Fellowship with God and with other believers brings a strength of faith into our hearts that isn't easy to garner on our own. Personally, I think it is impossible to find that strength without God. Sadly, we don't always find such strength or faith within the walls of the church. For many years, I looked for it outside of the church.

It wasn't until one of my best friends, and mentors, began to desire corporate worship, that I considered going to church again. I'd tried attending churches a few times before this, but hadn't found one that I felt drawn to. One Easter she asked if I'd go check out a church with her. I did. I soon moved away from there, and though she didn't continue at that church, she did find a church near her home and became a regular attendee. After my move, she encouraged me to also find a church and settle into it. At first I attended the church one of my girls was going to preschool at. The following year, I moved over to another church, not because I disliked the first church, but because I was moved to. Another year or so later and we moved up here, where I searched for a church to be a part of. Not just as an attendee, like I had been, but one where I could not only be served but also serve. That's how I ended up at the church I attend now. It helped that it is a sister church, so to speak, of the last one I had frequented.

Last night was our mid week bible study. Between the 30-45 minutes of genuine worship, a scripture our Pastor referenced, and the message the Youth Pastors shared, it was clear to me, God had something to say to me and wanted me to listen.

Usually when I pray I mostly pray for my needs and the needs of those close to me. Last night, my focus shifted to deeper prayers. Not just for myself and my loved ones, but towards strangers and enemies as well. And for a while, I wasn't worried. I wasn't afraid. I was full of hope. A refreshing sense, as I had asked God earlier in the day to help me with all that I was feeling concerning my daughter going to school outside of the home.

As we read over Matthew 6:25-34,

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[a]?
²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

 it became even more clear how much God doesn't want me to worry. I've read this scripture many times before, underlining it, and highlighting it. However, this time, I realized, instead of just reading it, I need to make a habit of meditating on it. After all, we are supposed to meditate on the word.

Joshua 1:8
 ⁸ Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.

Psalm 1:1-2

 ¹ Blessed is the one
    who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
    or sit in the company of mockers,
² but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and who meditates on his law day and night.

 
On the way home, I was already determined to meditate on this, and then my oldest blessing told me about the message from youth group. I can't remember all that she said, but she talked about the Jericho march and how, though we may not physically march around the things and people we want to reach out to, we can march around them with prayer and love. One example, of course, was praying for friends at school.

That struck it's own chord with me. Not only could I "march" around my habit of needless worry, I could trust that, there is a possibility that maybe I haven't failed but that God has a plan that I cannot see or know for my daughter, who will be going to school. For all I know, there is someone, or many someones, who need her witness, faith, testimony, love, and prayers. Maybe she is the silent warrior they need to help them find strength in God to breakdown their walls. It may sound silly or ridiculous, especially for non-believers, but the fact that I found it easier to consider myself a failure than to consider I don't know everything God is about, well that's pretty ridiculous to me. Which reminds me of how I need to heed

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.