Currently I'm doing a study of "How We Love" with a group of my friends. I'm about to start chapter 4. It is taking me time to get through each chapter, because the book also comes with a workbook in the back. The questions aren't easy to answer. Some days, I just refuse to look at it.
Today, I decided to take the online love style quiz, since all my study partners have already done this, I think. (You can take the quiz here: https://www.howwelove.com/love-style-quiz/) (And no, I'm not getting paid for this.) I said yes to quite a few things and discovered, (maybe), that I'm a wreck! I scored a 93% for Vacillator, 86% for Pleaser, 64% for both Controller and Victim, and 29% for Avoider.
Looking at my life, these scores make sense. The question, now, is not, "Who do I blame?", but rather, "How do I change?"
Honestly, this study has made me think more of my parenting and my relationship with God than it has anything else. What kind of mother do my children see me as and how can I overcome that to become the mother they need me to be, so that they will be secure connectors.
I know it isn't just about me.Their father and siblings play a role in their growth and development as well. However, though I can guide and encourage, I can not force others to be what they should. Especially when I'm not all I should be.
So, how do I let go of everything I've been and become who I am in Christ?
Here in lies grace. The same grace I feel towards those who helped mold me, I must remember flows over me as well. My mistakes are nothing, compared to God's grace and mercy. As I lean on Him, I do grow and change. I'm not sure I'd want to know what the quiz would've said about me 5 years ago. It goes back to being mindful and remembering that all I really have is the present moment, and embracing it, embracing faith and embracing God.
