The Immaturity in Me

I've always appreciated the gift I have to connect with people regardless of age. In high school I had the attitude, if you are nice to me I will be nice to you. Only once, that I can think of, did I wave my seniority over another student to put them in their place.

However, I also have the gift of being able to empathize all too well with others, taking on their feelings. This is a huge issue for me and in negative situations can lead to a destructive path. Most of the time, I don't even realize I am doing it.

For one, it often leads to issues in my relationships with others. Recently, I realized, it also impacts my ability to be a good minister to others.

My most recent example is a young girl, who is desperately hungry for approval. I found myself complaining about how annoying she is, when a friend of mine suggested her need for attention. As I thought on what my friend said and the fact that my own daughters are her age, I accepted a truth about myself. I, all too often, drop myself to the level of others. Whether I'm fighting with my children as though I were one of them, or I decide I don't like someone, because they don't like me.

If I continue to behave in such an immature fashion, how will I ever be able to use this teaching opportunity to help this young girl grow into a wonderful woman? And so it is with my own children. If I continue to behave like them, a child, how will I assist them in becoming well rounded, healthy adults.

It was a week after talking to my friend, when our Pastor asked for prayer requests. At first no one said anything. "Really? No one has anything they need prayer for?" he asked. My hand shot up and I confessed. "I need prayer for my childish behavior."

Some people commended me for my bravery at this confession. It did take courage, I personally did not possess, to actually talk about my faults in such a way. Yet, I don't believe I should be admired for it. I believe the credit is all His. I know it was the Holy Spirit moving in my heart. I know that prayer is being answered, as this week my attitude has been, better towards this young lady and I've found that I wasn't the only one who felt so unkindly towards her. I now am adding to the prayer the movement of the Holy Spirit in our hearts, to be able to confess our sins one to another, that we might receive strength and courage to overcome them, together. As well as allowing ourselves to put our "feelings" aside that we might positively touch the lives of those around us. To act towards each other with unconditional positive regard.