Well the girls and I entered the county fair. My girls both got blue ribbons for their cloverbud cookies and their art work. My younger daughter actually earned the purple championship ribbon for her artwork. I was so excited for her. I won the white 3rd place ribbon for a jewelry set I entered. I was so excited, because not all entrants got a ribbon.

I've made more jewelry for my etsy shop, just need to get photos and list them. I've got 18 items up so far. No sells still, but a couple of people have added me to their favorites and one even sent me a message of encouragement. I thought that was pretty cool. I figure I'll keep plugging away and enjoying what I do. Who knows what the holiday season will bring for me.

Dh just applied for a new location. I'm very VERY excited about it and can't wait to find out if he'll get it or not. I'm hoping that he does. I'm so excited that I'm losing sleep and stuff over it. I try really hard not to obsess about the possibility, but it just feels right.

I'm also getting more and more excited about dumplin' coming earthside. I don't know if dumplin' plans to come early or if I'm just so excited to meet them, but I've been counting down the weeks until dumplin' can arrive safely. Not how many weeks til the estimated due date. I can't tell what position dumplin' is in. I have an appointment coming up, though and might be able to find out then, though it still doesn't really matter yet.

I will say I'm looking forward to not having pregnancy induced nightmares. I know they say pregnancy can cause weird dreams, but I'd rather that I didn't have them.

Today, I am actually up early. I got up just before 7 this morning. It was kind of neat. I was able to get the laundry going so I have the clothes I want for church today. Now I'm laying in bed, enjoying the color of the sun rays streaming through my blinds as I check my online stuff. What a beautiful way to start the day. I should try it more often.

I've listed a few more items on etsy and lowered my prices in hopes of a sale, but so far no one has bought any of the jewelry. Someone did heart my shop though and that made me feel good. I don't know them, which made me feel even better.

This baby was breech, I'm pretty sure, but as of right now I think they may be transverse, trying to turn around. I'm feeling a lot less movement in the lower regions (which is a relief) and more up top. I don't have a problem with the idea of delivering a breech baby. I know it's possible and I trust that my body knows what to do. However, it's nice to not get kicked in the cervix. hahaha

I still have plenty of time before this baby comes, but part of me is ready for that time to fly by so I can greet this little pereson. This is the most natural pregnancy I've had. It's had the least disruptions and poking and prodding and possibly even pregnancy related stress. I've had other stresses, but very few concerning my pregnancy or the birth of this beautiful little one, that I have to wait to meet! I don't remember being this excited with past pregnancies. With my girls, I had so many unnecessary "interruptions" that hospitals require or I didn't realize I could say no to. With my son I had some, though not all of them. His was better. But with all of them, I knew what they were supposed to be coming out as. My son I wasn't supposed to. I did NOT want to know. I told the u/s techs this and yet one opened her big mouth and told me anyway. She was even the one doing the training! The trainee was very good about not telling. He seemed to respect how important it was for me to not know and I appreciated that. This time, I opted out of the u/s. I've had one this pregnancy to get an estimate of gestation since I had no clue when I got pregnant and I'm glad I did, because I was a month off! And to me the baby looked fine then. I trust this baby is doing very well and see no need to subject them to the invasion of a u/s. Sorry off my soap box. Anyway, truly having no clue what my baby is going to be, and just having faith in God, my body, and this baby is AMAZING! And it makes it so much more intimate and exciting for me. I'm thankful I've been educated enough, now, that I was able to make the choices I've made and that I've been able to have the opportunity to make those choices.

I'm thankful for this morning. I've gotten some nice quiet time, before any of the kids have woken up. I made banana bread, which is baking in the oven. I've listed another item on etsy. I have 12 on there right now. Still no sales, but I haven't done a whole lot to market my shop either.

My little dumplin' has been hanging out breech most of the pregnancy, but I think they are trying to turn around. I think it's neat. I'm so excited about meeting them soon.

I'm currently reading Maternal Fitness. So far I like it and am looking forward to learning and trying out the routines in it. I have noticed some spreading of my abs, though I don't think it's beyond the norm for what I normally have, and I've always been able to get them back together easily. However, it has been a paranoia of mine this time around. If I can to do something to
help strengthen those muscles while pregnant so they don't seperate so much, I'm willing to try. I'm planning to get back to doing prenatal yoga as well. I think the 2 combined will prove to be a great benefit for me in many ways.

I'm really looking forward to fall. I'm already imagining the leaves and greeting my girls as they come home from school. Eating the harvests from our garden. Having my baby in my arms. The autumn air. I know it isn't even summer yet, and I think part of my thing is summer just means I have to wait for all those great things. I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore though. Not because I'm having a horrible pregnancy, but because I'm so excited about this little person growing inside me. I'm excited to meet them, find out what they are, smell that sweet newborn smell, hold those little itty bitty feet and hands. *Sigh* But I have all summer to wait. So I suppose I will, since I don't want my baby to come before they are ready.

So far I haven't had any sales at my etsy shop. However, I'm not going to give up.

My girls are now registered for public school. I'm not thrilled about this, but it is what it is. They got their CAT tests back and personally I was really pleased with how they did, although one is struggling with math some and language mechanics. Everything else she was doing really well with.

Today I finally started really praying instead of mumbling and grumbling. It's one thing to say you're going to do something, it's a totally other thing to truly understand the purpose behind what you are doing. I've had a lot on my mind lately and have been very stressed and have worked really hard to hold my tongue. Holding my tongue did not stop those things from eating me up inside. It just kept me from sharing that with others. Today, I laid it before God. All of it. I know it's something that I need to continue to do, if I truly want the results I'm going for. I'm thankful for the challenge from K-Love and hope that by the time the challenge is over, I will have grown spiritually and that it won't be like saying I'm not going to eat chocolate for a month and then pigging out on chocolate the moment that month is over.

I had a beautiful "vision" the other night. I was really upset and was trying to center myself. I imagined myself as a tree planted by a river of water. As I took each breath I imagined my roots sprouting, then my trunk growing, on up to my branches and leaves. As I imagined my core it was full of light and love and my baby. It was beautiful and amazing. Almost as much as the time I had, what I refer to as, a spiritual ultrasound. I was doing a similar meditation and I saw my baby like I would in an ultrasound and it was beautiful and sweet and I felt all warm and lit up inside. I'm so excited about this baby. I actually don't, currently, have stress or fears or worries about adding this baby to our family. I think it's the first pregnancy I've had where I've felt this at peace about the little one growing within me.

Today one of my girls' teams had a pool party. The families were there. As fun as these gatherings are, I also don't like them. I'm painfully shy and unless someone asks me something, I usually don't feel like I have a lot to say. A lot of times, at these things, no one talks to me and I have a really hard time striking up conversations. Today I did get a few things said and a couple people talked to me a little, but I certainly wasn't involved in any getting to know you better conversations. I feel like an outsider. It's awkward and boring. Honestly the only reason I have friends is because people talked to me first and for some reason, found my answers to their questions interesting. It is not awkward, because I don't like people or am snobby, although I know some people think that's what my problem is, but because I just don't know what to say. I've tried to strike up conversations before but almost always they end up with me feeling awkward. It's harder when I'm in a group of people who have A LOT in common with each other, but I really don't seem to. Thankfully my girls aren't as shy as I am. They are great at making friends. I just wish I had an easier time of it.

Hopefully I'm not mumbling or grumbling with that.

I haven't listed anything at my etsy shop, http://www.etsy.com/shop/littlemrsnikki in the past couple of days, but do plan to soon. So far I have no sales, but at least I'm taking a step and a risk by having my items out there. We'll see what happens with that.

I haven't been as stressed the past couple of days as I had been, but I certainly have plenty of it left. I'm ready to just get rid of anything and everything that seems to only take up space. I've told my husband I no longer want to discuss his job hunting as I don't want to get my hopes up that he'll actually try to go somewhere on my list of "want to go there.." I am honestly sick of thinking about what the educational options are for my girls and am leaving that to him to handle since it was his idea, originally, to place them back into an out of home school. All I want to do right now is be prepared for this baby to come and enjoy my family as is. What we are right now, where we are right now, with what we have right now. And not worry at all about tomorrow anymore.

Success

I feel like yesterday was a success for me.

I'm working towards a challenge from K-Love radio called "No mumbling, No grumbling". I can look at yesterday in 2 ways. One way would be as a failure. I did mumble and grumble a bit. Or I can look at it as a success. Despite the mumbling and grumbling I did slip out, I managed to pay a lot more attention to what I was thinking and what I was saying. This helped me to not mumble and grumble near as much as I normally would've. Personally, I'd rather view it in that light. It makes it much more likely for me to reach the ultimate goal of spending more time in prayer and focused on being positive than on whether or not I'm going to fail.

I had a good sized to do list yesterday as well. For me, it meant taking a few risks. Risks that seem pretty silly to think of as risks, but for me it meant trusting. I'm not good at trusting. I managed to successfully achieve my goals for the day, though. I sent some artwork to a friend (I actually did that this morning) in hopes that she can use them in her shop (check out Ki Cross on facebook or myspace.) once she opens it up in August. I'm not a great artist. I've hardly taken art classes. I mainly doodle. However, I took a chance and sent her some of my work. Whether or not she likes it, and can use it, is still to be determined. The point is, I stepped out and did it. I did something that put me at risk of being criticized. I don't like criticism. I deal with too much negative non-constructive critcisim. Not only did I send my artwork to her, but I also opened up my Etsy shop again. Right now I'm putting jewelry I've made on there. Last time I tried to sell something on Etsy my items were removed for violating a patent. Although I saw PLENTY of other items similar to mine on there. That should've been clue enough for me NOT to try those. However, so far I haven't found much jewelry on there like the stuff I make. I was inspired by the things I used to make with notebook wire in high school. Hopefully at least one of these ventures will help me start bringing in an income, but even if they don't, at least I stepped out and I tried. You can check out my etsy shop by going to:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/LittleMrsNikki